called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
