Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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