he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
