the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
