I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
