Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
