Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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