I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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