Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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