i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize