so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
