She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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