They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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