I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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