My first STD was from a foam party
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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