we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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