I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
