i barfeds in our rink
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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