have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
