hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
