you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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