Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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