i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
