if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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