Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So many bounce houses so little time
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
