So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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