My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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