we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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