Are we in a gay sports bar?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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