It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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