The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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