The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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