a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
two words: eviction party
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
