Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize