I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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