gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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