nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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