It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
