its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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