Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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