so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
if only i could text you this smell
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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