He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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