I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
