This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
