brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
