Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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