At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My breasts were aching with rage.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
