i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
