I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
420 ftw
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
