I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
