We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
