I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
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