just come out here and I will go home with you...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
