I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Pants are for mortals
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
