Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
