I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
All the doctor said was why
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
