She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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