no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
