absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Randomize
